TGIF :: Not Kalsarikännit in Finland

#64 || Noticing: The 2nd Awareness on the move, 8 Steps in Finland, bird songs in the bathroom, Lance jumps into ClearLife. ...and drinking alone in our underwear?

Jul 26, 2024

Why we’re here.

A brief reflection on this journey before diving in.

ClearLife began in 2017 when I took a 30-day break from drinking, a “break” that continues to this day. I was so perplexed by how much of an impact this had on my life, I started writing, speaking, meeting, and even hosting a podcast about it. A book is on its way. You can find links to all of these things on my website.

Writing here on Substack (since April 2023) has been a real joy (and challenge). Sometimes I do deep dives on tough topics like my journey with breast cancer and alcohol labeling, kids and addiction, or drinking and relationships. Sometimes I share more personal things, like reflections on rest, ancestry-searching travels, or forgiveness. Sometimes both.

Today’s TGIF is a sampling of what I’m noticing, anchored around an awareness that we get to choose what we consume. It’s all ClearLife, but some items more directly associated than others. Let’s jump in.

The Second Awareness on the Move

The experience of discernment and finding nourishment in unexpected places.

This week is an assembly of various topics that are touching my heart from the Nordic side of the globe. Yet they all anchor around The Second Awareness: “I choose what I consume,” one of the foundational features of The Eight Awarenesses.

When we embark on a ClearLife journey, a key step early on in the adventure is realizing that what we consume is up to us. We decide what we eat, drink, smoke, or otherwise take in. Yet what we consume includes what we watch, listen to, who we spend time with, and the environments we inhabit.

And it can be even more subtle. What do we notice? What do we take in? How does this all impact us? Is our day filled with unsavory news, disruptive alerts, distracting notifications, toxic exchanges or other sources of stress? Or are we seeking out moments of stillness, a pause for reverence, presence with much of the beauty we can discover in even the simplest of things?

I tried to pay extra attention to this in recent days. Here is some of what I’m noticing.

Buddhism in 🇫🇮 and in my ❤️

ClearLife in a Buddhist Center in Helsinki = Perspective!

I’m writing from Helsinki (we arrived Tuesday after a long weekend in Copenhagen). I’ve wanted to come to Finland for as long as I can remember, drawn to it for a unique culture of warm resilience and social innovation. I’ve also been curious about the Finns’ overall extreme happiness (the “Happiest Country in the World” seven years in a row and counting!), reverence for nature (70% of the country is boreal forest and there are over 180,000 recorded lakes, really!), and curious, multi-layered Baltic ways.

This adventure is really The Second Awareness in action for me, a chance to notice what I am “consuming” whether it be physical or not (the news cycle has certainly been captivating too, drawing me to my phone more than I would like). And, time with my beloved. Just us. That’s rare—and precious.

When we travel we get to see the big picture. We notice how small we are. We see the interconnectedness of things—and our interdependence. This is the heart of my own spirituality, really: Let’s continue to remember how small we are in the magnitude and magnificence of it all.

Remarkably, on our first day here, I looked up a local Buddhist Center: Triratna and found its definition of Buddhism painstakingly on point:

Buddhism is a spiritual tradition, a view of life, a path of practice. The elements of Buddhist practice are ethics, meditation and wisdom. Practice takes place here and now: at home, at the workplace, in free time, in solitude, in the company of people.

Everything starts from awareness, from the desire to face one’s own experience in any given situation. Through that, it is possible to open up to the outside, to find a source of good will in yourself.

🌿 🌿 🌿

These simple words on a center website helped me to see how deeply my ClearLife work has been influenced by years of Buddhist studies and practice. Oddly (or maybe perfectly…) the only thing on the calendar for the month is a weekly “8 Step Recovery” meeting.1 I couldn’t go, but boy am I curious! Do any of you have familiarity with this?

The takeaway? Service is important, but so is dharma, or staying a student of ethereal, timeless lessons, no matter where we find them. I put that micro-awareness in my pocket for the journey home.

A Tibetan Buddhist Mandala, also in Copenhagen

Bird Songs in the Bathroom

It’s DEFINITELY the little things.

When we arrived in Helsinki a few days ago, we made our way through the immaculate new terminal (aesthetically stunning steel, glass, and wood) and paused for a restroom stop on the way out.

As I used the facilities, I noticed a calm settle over me. Was it the end of travel? The soft lighting? A mood-setting scent in the air? (Going to the bathroom — ha!?) Then I noticed that I could hear the faint songs of birds, like the sounds of a forest, softly playing from above. Someone had thought to add this gentle audio to an otherwise sterile and mundane experience.

Why do I love this so much? I think it is often the little things that humans do that touch us, move us. Let’s not forget those.

Getting a loved one a glass of water. Dropping a note in the mail. Lighting a candle first thing in the morning or at the end of the day—or both. Tending to a household chore without being asked. Cooking a loved one their favorite breakfast. Dropping off something from the market, just because. Leaving unexpected audio on in a shared space… like bird songs. 💚

Noticing: Lance Armstrong & ClearLife

If you thought this wasn’t spreading… “Even Lance is on the bandwagon!”

He posted this in his IG account this week (thanks for the share, C.E.):

Jan 14 ===> July 14 = 6 months since the last time I had a sip of alcohol and I am loving this journey.
This isn’t a flex or a suggestion for others, it’s simply an acknowledgement that sometimes that voice in your head and heart is there and sometimes they are incredibly persistent.
And here’s the thing - that little voice is almost always right. This time I listened.
And to my old friends named Focus, Clarity, Inspiration, and Self Love - nice to see you again. Been too long.

I love that he’s sharing this way. I appreciate that it’s a man using these words. Yet another public figure highlighting the upsides of opting out of booze.

Lance: We’ve love to hear more about your struggles someday, what you were drinking to feel less of, and so on. We can only imagine. Thank you for speaking up. We never know the ripple effects of our shares :)

Helsinki, Day One, at the Brigitta Bar (I had chai + an espresso shot - YUM).

Not Kalsarikännit

And just to make sure we aren’t taking ourselves too seriously….

This is a Finnish word that means: “The feeling when you are going to get drunk home alone in your underwear – with no intention of going out.”

Look… I am all about ClearLife, and living dimmer free, and not using alcohol in unhealthy ways, but this one cracks me up. I have so many questions…

The feeling… is it an excited feeling? A loathsome feeling? Something else?

Even better… Finland is the first country in the world to publish its own set of country themed emojis. The Finland emoji collection contains 56 tongue-in-cheek emotions, which were created to explain some hard-to-describe Finnish emotions, Finnish words and customs, like this one.

Do you feel it? It looks pretty happy and relaxed to me.

Might be a good time to remind ourselves of The Sixth Awareness: Do you!

Some Questions We Can Ask Ourselves

Is what we are consuming numbing or nourishing us? As a practical example, are there people we should be unfollowing, news sources we should be winding down, or environments we can limit our exposure to?
Are there things we can remove from our routines and replace with more nourishing things to bring our lives into better alignment with our truest interests, inclinations, and selves? Nature > screen time? In person > Zoom? Listening > talking?
Is there something small we can do for others today to offer some beauty or nourishment of some kind? Don’t hesitate.
Do we know anyone making a shift with a dimmer who may want to talk about it? Or maybe that’s us? Can we explore in a share with a trusted confidante, a writing, an expression of art, maybe even a voice memo on a phone (to be deleted or not)?
If not drinking, is there something we can do in our underwear that sparks something like kalsarikännit? Dance? Meditate? Read? Paint? Cook? I want to hear about it!

Wishing you all nourishment and delight, wherever you are. Thank you for sharing your moments with me.

Be well.

❤️