TGIF :: It's Reset Season 🌱

#96 || The Case for a Mid-Year Pause

I write here to explore what it means to live undimmed—present and self-aware to the ways we might habitually dim ourselves and our experience through drinking, eating, snark, exercise, shopping, sex, work, drugs—even over-functioning. Previous posts are here.

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Lac Leman, Geneva, from my run this morning

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Reset Season

I don’t know about you, but when the end of the calendar year rolls around, it often takes extra effort to carve out real space to reflect on what’s ending and set intentions for what’s beginning. I think it’s the “energy hangover” of the December holiday activities. I’ve even “creatively postponed” New Year’s Day a time or two (What’s wrong with January 3rd?), just to give myself more time to reflect and start again.

Over time, I’ve come to love the idea of a mid-year reset, a chance to mark this midpoint in a way that works for us, a compliment to other orientations around time, chapter marking, endings—and beginnings.

For families with kids in school, we’re just coming out of the whirlwind of end-of-year activities (and it can be a lot). Even without kids in the mix, I’ve noticed that many of us are emerging from an intense six months—full of effort, transitions, emotions, and decisions, not to mention massively significant political and cultural shifts around the globe.

The days are longer (at least here in the Northern Hemisphere), and for me, there’s finally some mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual spaciousness to pause. To reflect. To ask:

What do I want to leave behind—just on this side of the Solstice?

What do I want to nurture, tend to, or make more space for in the months ahead?

I like thinking of it as reset season—a gentler kind of new year, when there’s more room for the invisible, and our nervous systems have a chance to exhale. I even saw a friend’s somewhat stoic post from a beach yesterday with the words “Nervous system reset complete.” We both watched our sons graduate from high school earlier this month and launch into summer travels. So, I get it.

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The Eight Awarenesses and a Mid-Year Reset

Picking one or two from the following, a framework we can use to reset our relationship with almost any habit, is a fun and light way to engage with this invitation around a mid-year reset:

1. Clarity. My life is better clear.

2. Choice. I choose what I consume.

3. Intuition. My intuition defines my priorities and I pursue a life that reflects them.

4. Healing. I seek to understand my trauma, but do not make it my identity.

5. Freedom. Forgiveness and letting go are on the path to liberation.

6. Respect. I don’t judge or impose my limitations on others.

7. Time. Time is our most precious currency.

8. Service. I seek ways to support others, especially in times of abundance.

On my end there are a few areas where I could definitely invest some intention and attention as we shift into the second half of the year.

Awareness #3: Intuition

I am saddened to admit this one, but I feel as though my wickedly strong mind is driving the bus again at the expense of my certainly wiser, sometimes neglected, intuition. There was a period there, right around completing The Hoffman Process (and definitely through my cancer treatment in 2023), when I thought I’d addressed this for good, yielding some of my decision-making and overall day to day living to my sometimes more reliable, and often more rewarding, intuition.

I was wrong.

I can meet myself with a lot of self-grace, hand on heart, because with the volume of logistics and work needs in recent months, I seem to have slipped into some old ways: email, not meditation before 7am, podcasts on walks instead of music, less tuning into my deeper knowing and more practical decision making. My strong brain serves me well, but I know it’s only to a point. I’m using this time to regroup and restore some of what I hold so dear: connection to something far deeper than an organized calendar and completed task lists.

How? Solo time outside. Re-igniting a daily meditation practice. Overall less reverence for the activities of the mind, allowing for more spaciousness of other precious signal. I have a friend who lives this way, and often think of her as inspiration. It’s really about slowing down, pausing the busy-ness (a mighty dimmer of mine), and listening more than doing. Sigh.

Awareness #5: Freedom + Forgiveness

I don’t like to admit this: I am a grudge-holder. I so wish I wasn’t. I don’t carry many, but the few I do are deep and durable. There are a few people for whom I still carry bitterness for hurt they caused my family or me going back many, many years. I want to (often work to) avoid these people. I bristle at their names. And, I quietly wonder: Is this healthy boundary holding or a waste of energy?

This came up this past week as I avoided a dinner to avoid a person. In explaining it to my 14-yo son (he was in the car with me for the conversation with the host), I heard the ridiculousness of what I was sharing. At least on its face, I should be able to find some compassion in my heart for the 1990s version of this person and move on. Later that evening, I went into his room before bedtime and apologized, explaining that this is a trait in me I hope he doesn’t pick up—he can break this chain just by being himself and not looking to me as an example in this area.

Remarkably, he seemed to have empathy for my persistent feelings and expressed that he doesn’t want to carry the tradition forward. We discussed how. Maybe pursue acknowledgement and apology earlier? Meet these situations with more curiosity than judgment? Or from starting to look at what makes the victim orientation feel so familiar, even comforting—and beginning to tackle that.

I am still learning.

What I’m starting to see is that part of the work might be simply asking for what I need, instead of sitting in quiet resentment over something the other person may not even realize—or may have their own version of. I want to get better at this and will try to reset some old patterns in coming months. Baby steps.

Awareness #2: Choice

This one is out of order and fun… I wrote some weeks ago about my efforts to break-up with sugar. Well it’s been seven weeks and I’m still at it (and seem to have lost that five stubborn pounds, albeit very, very slowly). Like other things, the bright line of “yes” or “no” has been super helpful for me. This awareness, “I choose what I consume” continues to be among the mightiest in my repertoire because of the ripple effect: If I can pause this thing that I thought had a grip on me, what else can I simply decide to change in my life?

The Invitation, Practice

Before the month ends, have a review of what might want to be left behind, what might want to be nurtured. Yes, this is a bit like a “new years resolution” but softer, more internal, more intimate. It can be about a habit, a relationship, a way of relating to money or material objects. It could even be an attitude, a perspective, a tendency.

In considering a reset, envision the shift. What are the rewards? What are the steps?

Sometimes it’s nice to invite the support of others, but there are some things that are nice to explore without telling anyone, so we can keep it personal, textured, even fluid if needed. Consider the awarenesses above if helpful. Celebrate simply noticing, the first step of most positive change.

Love ❤️

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Miscellaneous…

One Hour Zoom… Our next Sangha Saturday is July 19th, 2025 at 9:00 AM PT / Noon ET. We begin with a brief meditation, set a bit of context, and then open the space for shared exploration. While not about “sobriety” or “recovery,” we are all actively exploring a life without dimmers. These are beautiful hours! Thank you to those who join. Link for an invitation here.

Speaking of a Reset… I coincidentally listened to Dr. Anna Lembke, author of the absolutely brilliant Dopamine Nation on the Huberman Lab podcast today (episode link here). Highlights: the power of truthfulness + brain science on a recovery journey, how scattered attention keeps us from creativity, and why a 30-day break from most addictive things frees us from their grip. Of course the serendipity with this post (already written) inspires me to re-share info about ClearLife Reset, a 30-day supplement expertly designed to ease the challenges of a 30-day break from alcohol. Available here.

Undimmed Book Update… I am on the second (and final) proof of the final draft, making humbling requests of people I deeply respect for blurbs, and starting to accept podcast guest invitations. Ideas for any of the above most welcome. What a journey! I am so excited to share this work with this community (release date is January 6th). Thank you for your many flavors of support.