TGIF :: A Moment on Moments
#63 || Defined by our choices 🌿
You are reading ClearLife, an exploration of life without “dimmers” such as escapist drinking, eating, snark, exercise, shopping, sex, work, drugs—even generosity. Prior posts are available here.
You can also find the first season of the Undimmed Podcast, real conversations with real people about their journeys on Apple Podcasts here or Spotify podcasts here. I’ve loved your feedback and suggestions for new posts and episodes! Please keep them coming. 🙏🏼
Covid has passed (phew). A fairly significant memorabilia purge has been concluded, for now (that felt good.) I managed to deliver my youngest to spend a summer fun-filled week at the lake with my brother and family and get myself to Asheville, NC. I’m here for a few days with loved ones, anchored around the final farewells for my dear Uncle Bill who recently passed after a long and rich life.
It’s a special-feeling time.
A rich time.
And I’m glad I’m here for it, in all of the ways.
Choosing Our Moments
My experience with breast cancer last year gave me a deeper reverence for time spent with loved ones. It may sound cliché, and I hesitate to say it too often, but it’s true: When we are reminded that life can end earlier than we imagined, our perspective on the scarcity of time and the preciousness of life shifts—profoundly.
Given this week’s travel, all orchestrated around time with those I hold dear, it felt quite serendipitous when I came upon this yesterday, posted by my friend TK:
“Contrary to popular belief, time does not heal, time does not fly, time does not do anything. Time has no consciousness. It does nothing for you. The key to happiness now is what you choose to do with your time right now. Are you, right now, making the most valuable use of your time? This moment is, after all, the time of your life. Your choices are what make each moment.”
—Robert Holden
This is not an author I celebrate, nor is the concept of treasuring time—honoring each moment—new to me (I published an entire post on Treasuring Time, The Seventh Awareness, almost exactly a year ago). Yet, something about this particular quote at this particular moment struck me:
Our choices define our moments.
And this is what ClearLife is all about.
I’m on a screen writing this. The vast majority of you are looking at a screen to read it. Is this choice to give our attention to our screens a conscious one? What is the opportunity cost of our attention being here, not elsewhere? Focusing on this, not something else?
For me, I’m typing on a sofa within a few feet of my closest friend on the last morning we’ll spend together for a while. In this moment, it feels perfect and poetic. Sun rays and a birdsong orchestra are streaming into her living room from the open door to her deck, and coffee is being enjoyed as she reads and I write. Yet, if this episode of still silence, each immersed in our own thoughts and experiences went on for too long (as my time writing here sometimes does), would this be a good use this time, these moments?
The Seventh Awareness
The first six Awarenesses on Clarity, Choice, Intuition, Healing, Freedom, and Respect invite a way of living that is more free, light, intentional, and authentic. The Seventh Awareness invites us to spend the time we do have in a way informed by the first six: clear, making good choices, honoring our intuition in defining our truest priorities, free of the weight of not yet metabolized difficulties or unhealthy relations. It’s a bid to treat the limited time we have with reverence and intentionality.
Are we spending our time on the things we care the most about?
Are we living a life that is actually true to ourselves, not merely fulfilling the never-ending stream of expectations and needs of others?
Our relationship with time features prominently on nearly every ClearLife journey. Many of us resort to various dimmers—escapist drinking, smoking, spending, working, sex or exercise—to quiet intuitive whispers within. These inklings urge us to work less, spend more time with loved ones, brave that bold career shift, summon the courage to apologize, muster the confidence to try something new, or make a potentially life-altering confession of love.
An Invitation, A Practice: An Intentional Moment
Finish reading this.
Close the screen, then your eyes.
Take a few breaths, doing nothing other than experiencing all of your senses. What do you hear, feel, smell, …taste?
Tune into what is most important in your life right now. It might be health, a project pursuit, care for a loved one, connection with others, emerging from a difficulty.
What is one thing you can do fairly immediately in honor of that priority, that arena of care or love? It can be small, a phone call, a letter, a conversation, or some other gesture or action.
Envision yourself doing it, still with your eyes closed.
Experience the sensation of doing that gesture, communication, or action as you imagine it.
Then if you can, emerge and actually do the thing, express that intention.
Consider leaving a comment or sending me a note about this experience.
How did this moment impact you or others?
Is there a discernible ripple effect—or maybe one you can simply imagine?
I’m closing my laptop now. Thank you for sharing your time with me. Wishing you a day spilling over with moments you’re grateful for, as simple as they may be.
Love ❤️
Miscellaneous…
The Eight Awarenesses… is the framework I use in exploring and advancing a ClearLife. You can read more about the invitation and each awareness via links here.
Sangha Saturdays… There will be no in person Sangha Saturday in July. I moved the Zoom version to July 20th at 9am PT. Please indicate your interest via the form link here and you’ll be added to the invitation(s). These gatherings are increasingly magical. Thank you for joining us! ☀︎
The Eight Awarenesses Workshops / Retreats… I am thrilled to be part of co-creating an inaugural ClearLife workshop / retreat to take place at one of my favorite venues later this year. Details soon! In the meantime, I’ve added a new interest “box” in the ClearLife Connections Interest Form: “Attending an in-person workshop or retreat on ClearLife / The Eight Awarenesses.” Get on the email list for early information there :)
The USAPA is looking for an Executive Director… The U.S. Alcohol Policy Alliance (USAPA), a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization translating alcohol policy research into public health practice, is seeking a seasoned, entrepreneurial executive director to continue building its presence in state and federal alcohol policy efforts. You can learn more about the opportunity here. Please pass it on!