TGIF :: Cultivating High Resolution Attention

#85 || Piercing The First Awareness with an Arrow Dipped in Dharma

Welcome new readers! Here we explore living undimmed—present and self-aware of escapist drinking, eating, snark, exercise, shopping, sex, work, drugs—even generosity—so we can truly show up. Prior posts are available here.

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Thank you for trusting me with your time.

Pre-dawn Pacific Ocean from a Costa Rican beach

A Humbling Context

A week in a seaside jungle retreat, structured, yet spacious. Daily practice—deep, yet fluid and nourishing. Profound dharma teachings that plant seeds to ripple through days of conversation. Gentle movement led by masters of their craft with both levity and precision. Clean food and water in wall-less spaces. A chance to grace-fully steep in the experience of distance from routines and the precious perspective that comes with it. Connection with my beloved—true gift. And my jaw unlocked on the first day. Yes, dear Universe, I’m listening.

As I sit in the halls, overhead fans cooling us from above, I do my best to tune out distractions, often turning my phone off for hours. Still, I notice my impulse to check the news throughout the day (isn’t once or twice enough?).

Even far away, I stay connected—tracking the “new now” and personal highs and lows at home. Friends navigating unimaginable oncology care for their kids, falling in love in unexpected and exhilarating ways, trying to understand mysterious health challenges, pushing forward on dream ventures despite countless “not now” fundraising responses, and grieving the loss of loved ones. ❤️‍🩹

And my kids. After all these years of “shared custody,” being away still tugs at me, even if it’s my “off week.” Texts and FaceTimes bridge the distance, reminding me of the days when I traveled a lot for work—learning of lost teeth on screens, illnesses in texts, feelings via shared media.

Some things change. Some don’t.

“They’ll be so resilient,” people say. But I hear our preschool director’s wise words: “Kids these days don’t need more resilience.” “You need time for you too,” others note.

We’re all right.

5 a.m.

Dharma for ClearLife

Things shift and move while among beloved teachers and models of activism, wellbeing, and grace—mostly women including Roshi Joan Halifax, Christiana Figueres, Wendy Lau, Annette Knopp, and Elena Brower. Together, both in session and countless more intimate conversations, we’ve explored a range of unique but related topics from belonging to survival, equanimity to engagement, activism to self-resourcing.

Among it all, an invitation to meet our own limits with compassion, then stretch and grow beyond these edges. My notebook spills over with threads to pull, dive into, and tangle myself in. I’m reminded: growth doesn’t hurt, resistance to it does.

The teachings that stick with me—spring roots and lodge deep within—are clear and nimble. Durable wisdom reaches many, and touches us in different and often unexpected ways. I’ve found myself reading and re-reading these phrases from one of Roshi Joan’s talks (I recommend reading them at least twice):

🙏🏼 “It turns out, exhale is essential for survival.”

🍃 “We can lift ourselves out of something without a victim orientation.”

👁️ “We practice [meditation] to make the internal landscape visible.”

🌱 “Holding people accountable is different than blame.”

And among my favorite from the nightly Upaya prayer:

🚨 “Do not squander this life.”

High Resolution Attention

One of this week’s core takeaways is the power of “high resolution attention” also offered by Roshi Joan. It’s an invitation to be so clear-minded, so self-aware, so present, that we cannot be lost, distracted, or lured off path.

For a practitioner, this might be why we practice. But it’s also a way of living—fully awake, undimmed.

What Does “High Resolution Attention” Have to do with ClearLife?

Everything.

The First Awareness: My life us better clear, invites us to consider whether in fact we’d rather live with more clarity, more presence—or as a fellow attendee put it over breakfast yesterday, more power.

It’s #1 because without first choosing clarity, the rest of the (frame)work holds little value.

You can revisit The Eight Awarenesses framework here.

But why?

Only we can answer this ourselves—and frankly, it’s not for everyone. My dear mother said in many ways over the years (often behind big sunglasses and a glass of wine): “Why the hell would anyone want to live with clarity anyway?!”

Sure, we all use something to feel less sometimes. We reach for a range of things — Netflix, booze, pot, sugar… or unhealthy levels of exercise, food, work, sex—even generosity. Yet, if we are curious about living with more presence, at some point we might question our relationships with these habits.

Showing Up

Here’s a thought: Maybe the desire to fully show up is reason enough to choose clarity—to choose high resolution attention.

Creating. Leading. Parenting. Healing. Surviving. Caregiving. Rebuilding. Loving. What is it that we are -ing these days? How might our experience—along with those around us—shift, if we brought unwavering attention to our actions, our words—even our thoughts? Making the bed. Pouring the tea. Saying hello to the neighbor… Listening to a child, tuning into our intuition about a health concern, finally writing that letter, courageously listening to uncomfortable feedback.

For me, the answer has been a hell yes, I want this, especially in my relationships with family, friends, kids, my love. And in the imperfection of it all, at least I am noticing when I do get off path. If nothing else, I am actually in each moment for myself and those I love—even if I do sneak out of the country for a reset from time to time.

Love.

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Miscellaneous

⭕️ One Hour of Community Connection via Zoom. The next Sangha Saturday will be next Saturday, February 15, 2025 at 9:00 AM PT / Noon ET. We begin with a brief meditation, set a bit of context, and then the space for shared exploration. While not about “sobriety” or “recovery,” we are all actively exploring a life without dimmers; for many, that dimmer was alcohol. Others include food, generosity, pot, and work. Link for invite here.

💡 Coming soon. A product that’s been in development for >a year to support those taking a break from drinking. Hoping to announce next week. Stay tuned!

🎧 Undimmed Podcast Season 2. Pre-production starts next month! Please share guest ideas via response to this email so I can add them to the list. Season 1 here.

🤹🏻 Wisdom 2.0 2025 on “Disruption” is happening in San Francisco May 5-6. Hope to see you there. Info here.

🌅 Did you know? I learned from a prosthodontist this week that the setting sun right above the horizon is the same color as gold when it melts at 1,947°F.