Announcing :: ✨ClearLife✨ :: TGIF

A weekly drop – this is #1!

“Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up.” -Brené Brown

Welcome :)

This is the first weekly TGIF (thank goodness its Friday) post on any and all things ClearLife, a term I use to describe an ever-evolving intention to live a “dimmer-free” life with as much clarity, presence, and intention as possible. You’re receiving it because you either asked to be on the list or I took a leap of faith. You can cancel anytime.

The Story Behind ClearLife

My main “dimmer” was alcohol, consumed regularly and “socially” for most of my adult life. I didn’t stop drinking at 43 in 2017 because of a “rock bottom” or other alarming incident. I took a thirty day break to best navigate the beginning of a heart-wrenching divorce. I didn’t want any fuzziness or regrettable texts, signatures, kisses, or conversations.

I liked how living alcohol free felt, so after that month, I started another, and then another. I’m now in year six and I can say my life is barely recognizable from where I was when I stopped (in a mostly good way).

I am still learning so much on a range of diverse topics related to ClearLife from the IG community I’ve grown to know and love, podcasts, books, friends, and my own trial an error in traversing this terrain.

Looking up at Old Mill Park, Mill Valley.

So, What Is ClearLife?

ClearLife is an exploration of what it means to “live clear” or without dimmers that can interfere with an intentional, present, and embodied life. Dimmers include anything that we habitually do or consume to soften our edges, minimize discomfort, or silence our intuition. Examples include escapist drinking, eating, snark, shopping, sex, work, drugs, and even generosity. We may be “sober” (not a favorite word of mine, but we’ll get to that later) or not. We may have a desire to live without intoxicants, or not. We do have an interest in learning more about what it might be like to choose habits and lifestyle choices that support presence, healthier relationships (and bodies), and an overall more aligned and intentional life.

While a choice to live intoxicant-free is one facet of ClearLife, this is not about sobriety.

It is about making choices every day, meeting discomfort as a guide, listening to intuition, conquering fear of our own greatness, accepting that relationships change (especially if we do), and attuning to why we do certain things to tolerate unpleasant experiences. Specifically to alcohol (my dimmer of choice for decades), it is also about paying attention to the little discussed impact of alcohol on our health, the power Big Alcohol (run by the same people behind Big Tobacco) has over what we know about health risks, the highs and lows of not drinking on one’s professional/family/social life, and how to navigate lifestyle changes without being labeled as having “a problem.”

Why Now?

I’ve been sharing ClearLife musings via my clearlifejourney IG channel since early 2018, around the same time I started writing more deeply about my experience of living alcohol-free (more on that decision and the first year here).

A sampling of @clearlifejourney IG

Since then I’ve crafted almost 400 posts for my now 70K+ IG followers on a range of topics including boundaries in relationships (the good, the bad, and the ugly), shifts in motherhood (including the shame parents often experience about any “absent” years), listening to intuition (rather than quieting it, only causing more problems), the power of time in nature (it seems that almost all of us appreciate and need time outside), tricks for enduring boozy events including weddings and sober corporate business travel (…maybe if we drank to endure certain things we can take a look at that), unexpectedly making and losing friends (this one is among the deepest), what perfectionism and control tendencies are telling us about ourselves, and countless other topics.

The kitchen table at our home in Mill Valley where I spend countless quiet hours.

The Book(s)!

While growing my IG community, I kept writing the deeper, longer form stuff, mostly at my kitchen table before kids and work. With the help of my editor, I have a 320 page literary memoir that tracks my sober experiment through reflection, family history excavation, difficult lifestyle shifts, and a transition into a new and very different life (less night clubs, more meditation retreats). I am nurturing the courage to publish this in the near future with a companion work on the tools I discovered along the way called The Eight Awarenesses, a simplified redo of The Twelve Steps. These include an invitation to look at your version of ClearLife as a step towards empowerment and choice rather than diagnosis and surrender.

To launch these into the world, I want to connect more intimately with people curious about this work in different way than Instagram supports (as amazing as the DMs have been over the years). Over time this should also help publishers to feel better about any investment in me. So with the encouragement of two friends already thriving here on Substack, here I am.

Who Am I?

Those of you who know me know I like to say “mom first.” This was one of the most potent gifts of ClearLife, recognizing this truth (finally). The rest you can read about on LinkedIn or other links discoverable via my LinkTree. After 22 years with big fancy jobs in the firm / corporate / start-up world, I am spending much of 2023 focusing on what I can offer in the realm of ClearLife.

With my sons Tenzin (12) and Xander (15) at home.

What Can You Expect?

Subscribers will receive one email per week on Friday. I’ll share things that are timely and resonant, possibly including recommendations for books, podcasts, and experience ideas I am inspired to share. I’ll try to keep them short too.

Please share with anyone you think might be curious. I would love to grow organically by word of mouth (email :).

Subscriptions can be modified or cancelled anytime.

Thank you for joining me!

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